Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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