He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
