I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize