things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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