she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
