I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
