If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
