This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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