I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
