What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
