if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
