what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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