you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have tasted many bathrooms
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
