Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
