On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
