Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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