Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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