I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize