bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
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