so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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