Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
