omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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