I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
