Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
