new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
