I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
