this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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