I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
ok first of all what the fuck
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
