dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
