She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
