You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
