I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
