whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
