Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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