I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
