dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
