just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize