I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
