The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
