I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
