At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
