I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
