I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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