Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize