yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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