the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize