Fuck appropriateness.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
