I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
