after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
