you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
