no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
