Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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