I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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