I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
