this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
