I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
