its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
