Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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